Me:-  Stilling the mind will slow its intensive activity and bring some peace with it.
Seeker:-  “It stops when I observe it carefully, it's strange, why is it that it stops when being observed?”

Me:-  Yes strange isn’t it?  Be thankful as it gives you a way in.  It’s the same with pain; it reduces with observation especially psychological pain.  An old friend used to say that when we resist (psychological) pain it’s like putting our finger on the pause button (on a cassette or DVD player) of life.  We don’t get rid of it but simply pause it thereby insuring that it will be there bothering us, in the background, again and again for much longer – until we confront it fully.  Bhagwan used to say "the difference between you and I is that I’ve felt all of my pain".

Frustrating isn’t it – what Harry (http://www.harryliantziris.blogspot.com.au/) said – but absolutely true.  It’s just an example of knowing from a non-dualistic point of view.  I remember how it was.  It’s a bit like dreaming; in my dreams I totally believe it – until I wake up.  This is the same – until awakening.

Yes a paradox indeed; there is nothing to do but doing nothing produces nothing and doing something will stop it happening but nothing happens unless we do something.  Ramesh Balsekar described it as we all have so many steps to climb but don’t know how many – i.e. you might have 2937 steps towards enlightenment; also you don’t know how many you’ve already climbed.  You just keep climbing up and up because you have no choice.  Every step is another insight and then reveals the next challenge; we just keep on climbing and it’s gradual.  Then one day we take the last step, and it’s sudden – you’re there!  The process is gradual but the arrival is sudden.

Seeker:-  “I've read a lot of enlightenment stories, every one of them had a teacher, went to satsangs, and all these things, or listened to John Wheeler, or something, none of them awakened then spontaneously all of a sudden one morning without having thought about it before it happened”.

 Me:-  The effort to understand is of the ego (and something much deeper) and the ego can’t come to know.  Not thinking about it brings the chance of the truth (that as always there) to surface all on its own.  I read the same story about The Buddha; he went to the best teachers in the land for years, almost killed himself renouncing food but it was only when he gave up and relaxed under a Bodhi tree that it all happened for him.  In my case I was reading John Wheeler’s website when it happened.

The mind will tell you some interesting stuff; it’s just doing it’s best to help.

Seeker:-  Maybe I'll understand later, but for the moment, from where I am at, it's totally impossible.

Me:-  Yes, it is.  That’s why you need some-one outside your mind, to guide you.  The mind can’t work it out by itself.

Seeker:-  It makes me wonder if watching the mind isn't a bit dangerous, in the sense of that it could lead to have two fragmented personalities?

Me:-

Yes, it is dangerous – to the mind.  The mind says fragmented personalities but it’s not fragmented it becomes integrated.  There will be two understandings – the dual and the non-dual.  But there will be no problems in there being two and there will be no conflict.  It’s strange how gaining a second understanding brings non-duality.

I believe my dreams because that’s all there is at the time and so the mind’s (daily) creation is the same.  Watching closely slows it down and allows the space between thoughts to be experienced.  That puts thoughts into perspective.  When you can sit in the stillness first there is nothing happening although a closer look at that reveals a rippling effect in consciousness – like on a pond in a very light breeze – the surface isn’t entirely still.  Later this settles down and becomes like looking in a mirror with no movement at all – just pure reflection.  This is the ‘state’ of awareness and yet full self knowledge, a full sense of presence and detachment from the daily mind stuff.  This is how I see the difference between consciousness and awareness.  Consciousness is more human while awareness is what we are – the absolute.  Being aware(ness) with the sense of presence – knowing the ‘I AM’ without the mind’s interference.

Be still and know that I AM.

Seeker:- I'm doing it, I watch the mind, sometimes I can see all the stories it builds. Mine is very good at that, especially when it goes into fear. Maybe this comes from a survival instinct, I don't know.
My mind is continuously telling me that I'm not going to succeed, that it is hopeless. Why is that? Why can't it be helpfull? Why does it seem to be my enemy?
But I have to use it, because I have things to do, and it's keeping it functionning in its usual chaotic way.
Yet sometimes I can still it, for a very little while.
The positive thing is that I have stopped to wonder about the meaning of life and all this, I don't care if there's a meaning or not, I just want to be free.

Me:- Wonderful!

It’s a fascinating thing – to see what it comes up with and the games it plays.

The mind’s job is to solve problems and for that it is very good – I still need mine – to get through the day.  And yes, the mind is very chaotic – not the organised functioning that we assume and thoughts aren’t usually linked but just jump from subject to subject.

Even just one moment between two thoughts is proof that there is space there.  With time those spaces get longer – even a few seconds is a very long time in experience.  When those spaces happen notice that you haven’t disappeared – I mean that you aren’t unconscious, in fact in some ways you are more conscious, more present, more alert.  That shows that you aren’t dependent on thoughts for your identity – that in fact you are the space between thoughts.

Keep it up, keep up thought awareness.  It can be done at any time, not just at specific times in the day.  Some of my best times where when I was driving (out in the country when there was nothing to do). 

Seeker:- But... Who is observing the mind? Who is analyzing that the mind is analyzing?

Me:- This question is from the mind, it is an intellectual question.

See how the mind is working and frustrating you.  These are the games it plays.

You see, I didn’t say to analyse the mind – just watch and you‘ll find who is the watcher.

Seeker:- You're right, this question came from the mind.
I'll try to remember to watch only, I need to focus on one thing.
You told me this before, but I forgot, because I regularly fall into intensive seeking again. It's difficult to keep the steps straight. There's always the temptation to go and look right or left or behind :)

Thank you for your patience :)

Me:- Ah, Grasshopper (did you see that old tv series?) you are doing well.

You’ll fall into that trap often so don’t despair.

To clarify my mention of an intellectual question as apposed to an experiential one (although I think you understand) – an intellectual one (as I’d said before) is ‘Who created the world – God did – then who created God’.  Intellectual questions get an answer and more questions and really never help while giving the impression of being helpful.  While an experiential question is – ‘I feel like getting more involved but I can’t make up my mind whether I should join a tradition religious group or a New Age group’.  This can be a block since we don’t want to go down a wrong road and get even more lost.

Stilling the mind will slow its intensive activity and bring some peace with it.  Freedom from its intensity will come once you realize who you are.  The intensity pain & frustration is actually your friend (you will realise later).

Don’t get disheartened by my directions and don’t take them personally; they are not criticisms of you just reminders of what the mind will do to keep you locked into its circular patterns.

Seeker:- OK, thank you for the answer. It's difficult to grasp. Sometimes I am convinced that I need a method to go towards enlightement, sometimes I feel every method is just another mental entertainment, 

Me:- And don’t the mind love entertainment so it can think it’s getting somewhere.

Seeker:-   and that I must find my own way. 

Me:-  Partly true – you do have to make the journey and it is alone but some-one who’s successfully found the way through can guide you.  Try as I say, watching the mind and when you come to a block I can help you through.  The mind will go through all the theories and methods it can find until it is clear that it can’t find it’s way out.  The mind is the wrong tool because it’s just another part of the appearance - it’s part of the illusion and the real you is what the illusion appears in.  I'm not here to tell you what to experience but to guide through the maze to your own experience.
 

Seeker:- I'm loosing interest in almost everything, except trying to understand, and taking care of my animals and of those who are in the animal shelter where I'm a volunteer.
I don't know where all this is leading me, it's really confusing, but it's too late to go backwards, alea jacta est :)

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