consciousness & awareness

After reading many books and websites on Advaita I came to the conclusion that in the west we generally tend to use consciousness and awareness interchangeably ie we use them both as pointers to the self. But Indians will differentiate them ie give them different meanings. When we meditate or use thought awareness to watch individual thoughts they slow down and we can eventually 'see' the space between individual thoughts. Later it is seen that thoughtlessness can be experienced while we are fully aware. Some times the 'space' becomes still like a pond of water and at other times the 'water' is turbulent. These are both consiousness, with or without thoughts intervening while they are always being witnessed by awareness that is constant.

Likewise in deep sleep there is no self awareness, no sense of presence of self - consciousness has switched off. Awareness continues and note dreams or unusual noises outside the bedroom window eg. We might suddenly be woken by noises and then we are aware of our sense of presence and that is consciousness. Again awareness is the witness of the conscious state and is not a 'state' in itself.

The 'experience' of self realization.

I'm sometimes asked, via my website and email, about the experience of self realization.

It's not an experience in the usual sense of the word and is actually impossible to describe but can be likened to a visit to the cinema.

When we enter a cinema we sit down and look at the blank screen but don't really pay any attention to it. Soon coloured lights start moving about; the mind very quickly becomes enteretained and starts to make sense of what's happening on the screen and soon makes a story out of it. It's not long before we become involved in the apparent story and characters and soon identify with one of the character in the story and forget that we're actually in the cinema (neither character nor story is actually real).

Like-wise in life the awareness that we are soon became identified with one of the characters that regularly appeared in the story - what we call me.

We are not now, nor will we ever be that character and the story actually has no more substance than a cinema movie but as all the characters in the movie keep telling us that we are real we believe it.

What we are, and have always been, is pure awareness that the story of life appears in, or on. We are, if you like, the screen and like a cinema screen not very entertaining to the mind. After identification we forget who we really are but it doesn't alter the truth of our true nature.

Self realization is the sudden intuitive realization that we are actually the awareness that witnesses everything and not the witnessed; the observer, not the observed.

The story of life continues.
As they say before enlightnment chop wood & fetch water,
After enlightenment chop wood & fetch water.

Have a look at this

I've not added anything recently since it's all there either in these archives or the website but this address passed through the computer recently and is worth a look.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8Aurpr68uE
If this isn't 'linked' you might need to copy and past into Google and do a search, it's well worth it.
If you have any questions feel free to contact me - this search comes down to a very simple understanding, it's just gettng past the belief in the 'I' or 'me'.

Brain development

We start life with an undeveloped brain & central nervous system. For the first 18 months the brain is still evolving and we survive because of the body genetics and our parental support. We start to learn to walk and start basic speech and simple concepts. At around two years of age the brain is developed enough for more complex concepts. Perhaps the most important concept at this stage is the concept of separation. Prior to this a child will run and play. It will run from room to room and enjoy the game of hide & seek. When the child is hungry or lost it only has to cry and it's mother will find and feed it - for those of us who are lucky enough to be brought up in a healthy and prosperous family.

We develop the concept of separation, which is a wonderful and necessary occurence. We can now understand that different rooms of our home can be accessed at will; we can run from room to room with all the delight of a child. This is such a happy time. However, because of this dualistic world there is a down side. The down side is with the concept of separation. We no more feel intimately connected with our mother - the very source of survival, and so we develop anxiety when she is not in view which can lead to fear for our survival simply because we are totaly dependent on 'mother'. With this mental developement we come to understand that there are other competitors for 'mother'. There is a father and other siblings, all wanting her time. This brings in the need for competition and the byproduct of competition is jeolousy. Aloneness can at times become loneliness. And so this time of development is a wonderfull one of exploration but is a terrifying one for the individual. This intence emotional time spearheaded by the fear of our survival is the basis of the ego. The ego tries it's best to help us survive and sometimes the old techniques from chilhood carry on a few years but the ego is here to help us solve our problems. When we go too near to danger we experience fear and so it has worked but it can become too strong an emotion causing us to withdaw into a very safe 'cave like' existance.

As we travel through our lives we try to increase the pleasure while reducing the pain. There are many paths, some will try drugs, some power, some politics all in order to get along and to try to reduce the fear based feeling. For some of us we have a strong feeling that something is wrong - we are quite conscious of this feeling and we endeavour to find the cause and to put it right. We start to search for meaning, many get caught up in ideologies, many in the various new age philosophies. Some find a niche for a while, body work, meditation. Some go on to teach but for perhaps an ever smaller percentage we go on with the exploration, searching new areas on our apparent journey.

Lucky breaks, fortunate meetings, synchronicity will lead us on to the next lesson and once learnt frees us for the next step, to the next lesson. As time goes by we feel that we are learning something, achieving our goales but there is always that undeniable feeling that something is wrong, in the background, pushing us forwards. So far we feel a progression in our search, right up until the very last step when there is a sudden arrival at knowing, knowing what we are - not what we always thought we were. At this point enlightenment or what I prefer to call self realisation happens. With this understanding comes not the belief that we are enlightened but the realisation that there really isn't a 'me' or 'I' here in the first place.

With this comes the feeling that nothing is wrong anymore.

Enlightenment isn't freedom for the idividual but freedom from the individul!

It is not a sudden knowing of everything, it is an undertanding that allows a further unfolding into a deeper understanding of how this whole existence works. It's a very simple and complete understanding and fully satisfying.

Dualistic language

One of the most difficult, indeed impossible, things to do is to express non-duality with language. The very nature of language is dualistic. The inherent problem is that any attempt, through words, to express what it is that which 'we' are is misleading and the more we try to get this message across the more is given the impression that what is being pointed to is difficult, complex or mystical and there's nothing further from the truth. Non-dualistic pointers are to the simple fact that awareness is the basis of our total experience and hence awareness is what we are.

Stephen Wingate in this talk expresss it very clearly in podcast no.12 (A conversation with Stephen Wingate-part 2) at www.urbangurucafe.com

The international calling.

Even in my youth I felt an international pull. I lived in England and in the sixties the pop scene was a lively & developing one, unfortunately there were not the radio stations to listen to the music then. One reliably good station was Radio Luxemburg but this was only able to be heard adequately enough after about 10 pm and would phase in & out terribly. Soon after that the pirate stations started to broadcast from ships outside the Territorial waters of England in international water until the government jammed then and eventually shut them down altogether. They were exciting times.

I knew of 'ham' radio with which opperators could speak to each other around the world on short wave, but I wasn't an electronics freak so that was out of the question.

Electronics have advanced so much these days that we can have 'blogs' and websites. I find it constantly fascinating to review visitors to both my website and blog, where they come from and how long they stay, although I don't get adresses or names. Eg this month I see that people as far as Iceland and South Africa have recently accessed my website, and my blog from China.

That feeling that I belonged to the international world and not just my out little neighbourhood has come to fruition.

Don't make it a belief.

A friend used to say "Don't believe a single word I'm saying" - meaning don't make a belief out of it. Use what I'm saying here in this blog as a pointer to do your own investigation, to look for yourself, so you understand directly. Then you won't need a belief - it'll be your direct knowing. This is the aim of Advaita - to bring you to knowedge, not to make you a follower. Then you won't have to 'believe' any of this, then you will know and your journey will be over.

Actually your apparent journey, that never was, will apparently be over. It will be understood, as I think it was Ramana who said "nothing ever happened".

Thoughts and meditation.

When we sit to meditate, one of the most persistant and annoying distractions is the constant stream of thoughts, they just keep appearing unbidden even though we want to sit in silence. We want to sit in peace for a few minutes and just be. But, the mind will not switch off, thoughts will not leave us alone, we cannot stop them. And yet dispite this direct evidence we still maintain the belief that we are the source of our thoughts, that we are in control of them and that this is 'my' mind and is something that I can use at will.

If you haven't meditated may I suggest that you go and do it now. And watch that you re totally unable to stop a thought appearing.

The three Omnis as opposed to separation.

It is said that GOD is omnipotent, omniscient & omnipresent. That means that he is all powerful, all knowing & all present (everywhere), which means there is nothing or nowhere that is not him. Then since there is nothing that is not him there is no space for a separate a you or a me. This being the case then this whole life is part of his-story. Even 'our' story is actually his story.

If you claim to exist as a separate being with power, knowledge and presence then you are reducing God's being to less than totality; that there is you and God, in which case God is not omnipotent, omniscient & omnipresent and this is obsurd.

I, you & me are concepts only. They do not exist in reality, they are mental concepts. So, look deeply into yourself to find where the 'me' resides, where it starts and where it ends. If you look deeply and long enough you may notice that while you undertake this search for what you think is you that the real you is actually wittnessing all the various identifications and activities of the mind.
You are the wittnessing awareness. You are not the belief. You are not the thoughts and you are not the human.

An email I recently received.

The New Religion of the 21st Century
(From a myspace.com bulletin)

On the surface of the world right now there is war and violence and things seem dark
But calmly and quietly, at the same time, something else is happening underground
An inner revolution is taking place and certain individuals are being called to a higher light
It is a silent revolution
From the inside out
From the ground up

It is time for me to reveal myself
I am an embedded agent of an secret, undercover
Clandestine Global operation
A spiritual conspiracy
We have sleeper cells in every nation on the planet

You won't see us on the T.V.
You won't read about us in the newspaper
You won't hear about us on the radio

We don't seek any glory
We don't wear any uniform
We come in all shapes and sizes
Colors and styles

Most of us work anonymously
We are quietly working behind the scenes in every country and culture of the world
Cities big and small, mountains and valleys, in farms and villages, tribes and remote islands

You could pass by one of us on the street and not even notice
We go undercover
We remain behind the scenes
It is of no concern to us who takes the final credit
But simply that the work gets done

Occasionally we spot each other in the street
We give a quiet nod and continue on our way so no one will notice

During the day many of us pretend we have normal jobs
But behind the false storefront at night is where the real work takes a place

Some call us the 'Conscious Army'
We are slowly creating a new world with the power of our minds and hearts
We follow, with passion and joy
Our orders from the Central Command
The Spiritual Intelligence Agency

We are dropping soft, secret love bombs when no ones is looking
Poems
Hugs
Music
Photography
Movies
Kind words
Smiles
Meditation and prayer
Dance
Social activism
Websites
Blogs
Random acts of kindness

We each express ourselves in our own unique ways with our own unique gifts and talents

'Be the change you want to see in the world'
That is the motto that fills our hearts
We know it is the only way real transformation takes place
We know that quietly and humbly we have the power of all the oceans combined

Our work is slow and meticulous
Like the formation of mountains
It is not even visible at first glance
And yet with it entire tectonic plates shall be moved in the centuries to come

Love is the new religion of the 21st century

You don't have to be a highly educated person
Or have any exceptional knowledge to understand it

It comes from the intelligence of the heart
Embedded in the timeless evolutionary pulse of all human beings

Be the change you want to see in the world
Nobody else can do it for you

We are now recruiting
Perhaps you will join us
Or already have....
All are welcome...
The door is open

-Brian Piergrossi
(From the book 'The Big Glow')