Seeker:- I'm doing it, I watch the mind,
sometimes I can see all the stories it builds. Mine is very good at that,
especially when it goes into fear. Maybe this comes from a survival instinct, I
My mind is continuously telling me that I'm not going to
succeed, that it is hopeless. Why is that? Why can't it be helpfull? Why does it
seem to be my enemy?
But I have to use it, because I have things to do, and
it's keeping it functionning in its usual chaotic way.
Yet sometimes I can
still it, for a very little while.
The positive thing is that I have stopped
to wonder about the meaning of life and all this, I don't care if there's a
meaning or not, I just want to be free.
It’s a fascinating
thing – to see what it comes up with and the games it plays.
The mind’s job is to
solve problems and for that it is very good – I still need mine – to get through
the day. And yes, the mind is very chaotic – not the organised functioning that
we assume and thoughts aren’t usually linked but just jump from subject to
Even just one moment
between two thoughts is proof that there is space there. With time those spaces
get longer – even a few seconds is a very long time in experience. When those
spaces happen notice that you haven’t disappeared – I mean that you aren’t
unconscious, in fact in some ways you are more conscious, more present, more
alert. That shows that you aren’t dependent on thoughts for your identity –
that in fact you are the space between thoughts.
Keep it up, keep up
thought awareness. It can be done at any time, not just at specific times in
the day. Some of my best times where when I was driving (out in the country
when there was nothing to do).
Seeker:- But... Who is observing the mind?
Who is analyzing that the mind is analyzing?
Me:- This question is from
the mind, it is an intellectual question.
See how the mind is
working and frustrating you. These are the games it plays.
You see, I didn’t say
to analyse the mind – just watch and you‘ll find who is the
Seeker:- You're right, this question came
from the mind.
I'll try to remember to watch only, I need to focus on one
You told me this before, but I forgot, because I regularly fall into
intensive seeking again. It's difficult to keep the steps straight. There's
always the temptation to go and look right or left or behind :)
for your patience :)
Me:- Ah, Grasshopper (did
you see that old tv series?) you are doing well.
You’ll fall into that
trap often so don’t despair.
To clarify my mention
of an intellectual question as apposed to an experiential one (although I think
you understand) – an intellectual one (as I’d said before) is ‘Who created the
world – God did – then who created God’. Intellectual questions get an answer
and more questions and really never help while giving the impression of being
helpful. While an experiential question is – ‘I feel like getting more involved
but I can’t make up my mind whether I should join a tradition religious group or
a New Age group’. This can be a block since we don’t want to go down a wrong
road and get even more lost.
Stilling the mind will
slow its intensive activity and bring some peace with it. Freedom from its
intensity will come once you realize who you are. The intensity pain &
frustration is actually your friend (you will realise later).
Don’t get disheartened
by my directions and don’t take them personally; they are not criticisms of you
just reminders of what the mind will do to keep you locked into its circular