Me:-  The frustration might be the energy you need to make the break through.

Seeker:-  Yes maybe, but I am afraid to be more and more frustrated and to become totaly depressed. I don't know, sometimes desperation is really intense, and sometimes it's bearable.
Reading so much is useless, I know it, because it all becomes a concept in my mind, and that's all. I don't live it. I know I have to practice but I don't know how, that's the main problem, what to do, how to do it. Start to watch thoughts, get familiar with the process.  Some say there's nothing to do, that everything is there, but for the seeker it's not true at all, or he won't be seeking.  Yes, some people will say all sorts of things to sound wise.  In truth there is nothing to do because there is no-one to do it but right now the seeker has to do some-thing.
It's a real struggle to still the mind, I have been used to manipulate concepts for so many time in a so intense way, as everybody else I guess. It's like an addiction, I sometimes see the process, I like thinking, and at the same time I hate it.  Yes, I know.  You can’t actually still it by force as that will just add more energy to it.  Instead we allow it to do it’s thing but get used to watching what is happening.  As we watch and not get involved it slows down by itself.